First of all I am not claiming to be an expert at anything.
I just have a vast experience as a child tennis prodigy, spending a solid 35 years being coached and coaching others. I come from parents who were very supportive of my tennis. I will share a lot of personal stories, which have led me to teach tennis the way that I do, because that is the only way I know how to express what I have learned over the years. It is out of my experiences that Henry was born.
I really want children to love sports, and most importantly, to have fun with sports. If I can help one parent or child to have fun with whatever sport they are involved in, that would bring me great pleasure.
I love to laugh and make people laugh.
I hope to entertain, enlighten, educate, and bring enjoyment to anyone who picks up a Henry book or visits the Henry blog.
Below is something I found in the South Dakota State University newspaper that I think is pretty great and something I think should be part of the fundamentals taught to all young athletes.
You can show respect to your opponents by giving your absolute best effort
When two opponents are unevenly matched it is very easy to not give it your all. If you are certain you are going to lose, you may give up or not try at all because you feel you are going to lose anyway. If you are playing an opponent who plays at a much lower level than you, you may not try as hard so that you can conserve energy or you may be very casual about the game to let the fans know that you are a more superior player. By giving your best effort at all times, you are telling your opponent that they are worthy of your respect as an honorable opponent, even if their skill level is superior or inferior to yours.
Avoid displays of disrespect
Do not taunt or tease your opponent. Avoid trash talking. Try not to cheer when the other team makes a mistake. Never exhibit “cocky” behavior.
Celebrate victory respectfully
A respectful player needs to find a way to celebrate their victory without showing disrespect for the opponent. Spiking the football at your opponent’s feet following a touchdown is not respectful. Shaking your fist at your opponent, or making gestures at the opponent following a victory is not respectful. (From Coaching for Character – Craig Clifford & Randolph Feezell)
Ways to Show Respect for Opponents
Do not yell at opponents.
Cheer when your teammates do something good but not when your opponents make errors.
Shake hands meaningfully after the game. Offer sincere congratulations after the game when you lose.
Treat the opposing coach with respect.
Don’t act cocky.
Don’t change your attitude or your approach to the game whether you are winning or losing
Clean up your locker room after yourselves.
Avoid tantrums or fits when you make an error.
Don’t whine or make excuses. Accept defeat gracefully, acknowledging your opponents’ excellence.
And finally a quote from Jesse Owens: 1936 Gold Medalist for the Long Jump
“In the end, it’s extra effort that separates a winner from second place. But winning takes a lot more that that, too. It starts with complete command of the fundamentals. Then it takes desire, determination, discipline, and self- sacrifice. And finally, it takes a great deal of love, fairness and respect for your fellow man. Put all these together, and even if you don’t win, how can you lose?” – Jesse Owens
I am sure that you have heard a pro or two make an annoying grunt during every shot they hit. After a while, it makes you think that they might be game-playing, trying to distract their opponent. If I were playing them, it would certainly distract me!
But, in actuality, there is a lot to be said positively for that annoying grunt. Breathing out is a release that relaxes the whole body when you hit the ball, making for a much smoother, more powerful shot that is easier on your body. The more you hold your breath while you hit, the more your body will tense, and you will end up using your muscles to hit the ball instead of natural gravity.
Try to breathe out as much as possible, loosening your grip, and letting your follow-through go naturally where it wants to go. You will be a much better player and eliminate some of those injuries caused by putting too much stress on your muscles! If you make a grunt while doing it, well, that’s okay too—it will make your opponent have to concentrate that much harder!
In the realm of coaching youth athletes, it’s crucial to recognize and respect certain boundaries. When parents step into the role of coach, they inadvertently sow seeds of distrust between their child and the designated coach. This interference not only undermines the coach’s authority but also hampers the child’s receptiveness to instructions.
Picture this: a parent, eager to see their child succeed, inadvertently assumes the role of a coach from the sidelines. They shout instructions, offer unsolicited advice, and essentially coach over the coach. This scenario not only frustrates the child but also creates an atmosphere where the coach’s guidance is overshadowed.
As a coach myself, I’ve often witnessed this dynamic firsthand. I prefer to maintain a clear boundary, prohibiting parents from direct involvement during coaching sessions. This allows the child the freedom to express themselves without external pressure, fostering a more conducive learning environment.
Furthermore, such parental interference risks alienating the child, who may feel pressured to meet their parents’ expectations rather than pursue their own passions. It’s essential to cultivate an open channel of communication with your child, encouraging them to voice their needs and aspirations freely.
Instead of micromanaging from the sidelines, parents should adopt a supportive role. Cheering, encouraging, and offering unconditional love are vital components of nurturing a young athlete’s development. By fostering a positive and supportive environment, parents can empower their child to thrive both on and off the field.
In essence, understanding and respecting boundaries in youth sports coaching is paramount. By relinquishing control and fostering open communication, parents can play a more constructive role in their child’s athletic journey.
I remember my first tennis tournament vividly. As a little girl of 8 or 9 years old, making it to the semi-finals felt surreal. I had never expected to get past the first round, let alone reach the semis. My next opponent was the number one seed, a 12-year-old girl who seemed like a giant to me. Despite my nerves, I resolved to play my game, which at that age, simply meant getting the ball back in the court.
To my surprise, I started winning. But then, her father began yelling from the sidelines, trying to rattle me. He encouraged his daughter to call my balls out, and she did—on my serves and any close shots. I was confused and upset, having never dealt with such hostility from an adult or such blatant cheating from an opponent.
We split sets and prepared for the decisive third. Back then, players took a ten-minute break to regroup and talk with their coaches or families. I felt bad and knew something was off, but I didn’t fully grasp the situation. My parents encouraged me, telling me to ignore her father’s taunts and reassuring me that I could win despite the cheating. Unfamiliar with tournament procedures, we didn’t know we could call for a line judge.
Starting the third set, I was emotionally exhausted. The crowd had grown, with everyone from my tennis club watching, along with the girl’s supporters, who were rooting against me. It was overwhelming, and I eventually lost the match.
From this experience, I learned invaluable lessons. I learned to block out distractions and focus solely on the ball and my game. I realized the importance of knowing the rules of your sport. In future matches, I gave opponents the benefit of the doubt after one questionable call, but after a second, I would call for a linesman. This eliminated the need for arguments and maintained sportsmanship.
Ultimately, the decisions you make on the court reflect who you are in life. Always do what is right, stay focused, and maintain grace under pressure. Lose with dignity, win with grace, and never cheat.
When I was competing as a little girl, I remember my dad on the sidelines. My dad would do three things when my head was spinning off my shoulders and things were looking really bad.
The first was to remind me to “keep your eye on the ball!” I would look over and see my dad pointing to his eyeball. That meant “keep your eye on the ball!”
The second hand gesture involved him moving his index and middle finger up and down as fast as he could, signaling “keep your feet moving!”
The third gesture was him moving both of his open hands up and down with his palms facing down, meaning “you are freaking out, stop rushing, just calm down and relax!”
The three things my dad was trying to convey are really smart and important for any young athlete to remember. They are the basics: keep your eye on the ball, keep your feet moving, and remember to breathe. I would venture to say that these three things apply to all sports. Go back to the basics, and once you are settled down, then you can change up your strategy to come out on top!
If you are losing, do not keep doing the same thing the entire match. Change your game up so your opponent sees something different.
Have you ever heard of the “Pea Patch”?? Me either!!! But apparently my Dad has been there and it is not a place people want to go. My mission was to take my opponents to the Pea Patch. They were going to fight and kick and not want to go but that didn’t matter, that was where they were going or I was not doing something right.
This was my Dad’s metaphor for not letting up on someone when you were winning. You close out the game or match and don’t let them back in, because if you let them back in, even for a second, they gain confidence and now you have a fight on your hands.
This is another area where mental toughness comes in. It takes more mental concentration to close out a match or game that you are winning easily than one where it is tight because you can get lazy, mentally and physically. I remember a horrible experience of being up 5-2 in both sets and losing the match 7-5, 7-5!! What a nightmare! How in the world did I lose that match and do the same thing in both sets?!
If you get in these situations remember to tell yourself to stay focused, keep your feet moving, never underestimate your opponent and never let up. Know they are fighting with everything they have not to go to the Pea Patch, or you may up in the dreaded Pea Patch!!
I was 8 years old, pigtails flying, and could barely see over the net but balls were coming at my head at warp speed.
A voice on the other side of the court was screaming “eye of the tiger, eye of the tiger”, “don’t take your eye off of the ball!”
My Dad would be drilling balls at me as hard as he could to improve my reaction skills, timing, and to make me TOUGH!!!! I stayed right in there, kept my racket up, kept my feet moving and was determined that no ball was going to get past me!!!
I actually do this drill with my students today, it’s fun! Well, to the ones who can handle it! It is great for improving your reaction time and having to constantly be ready moving your feet at all times. It creates a mental toughness because it can be scary to stay in there and not duck for cover!
You do have to be tough to pull out a win in the 3rd set tiebreaker, run the last 5 miles of a marathon, or throw a touchdown pass in overtime with 7 seconds left on the clock in 20 degree weather! Mental toughness will push you to the finish line and is a great tool to navigate through obstacles life throws your way.
This was just one of my father’s mantra’s! He was right.
You must have a desire for whatever you want to do in your life and if you want to be part of the elite you have to have a strong desire. There takes a certain amount of discipline to achieve any level of success in what you do, for some, things come easier than others.
I was gifted with the natural ability to play tennis at a very high level without a lot of effort, this was not to my advantage. I could win a lot of my matches without much thought which made me lazy, so when it came to the tough matches I was not prepared.
No matter how determined you are, without desire and discipline this means very little, in fact you are probably not determined at all. If you have the desire to play the sport you have chosen, and the discipline to put the time in to achieve the amount of success that you want, your determination should automatically follow.
Find out where your child’s desire lies, see how much discipline they are willing to give to their desire and then you will know just how much determination they have to be the best at their chosen sport.
What do you do when you want your child to be this great athlete and keep them on the right path towards success?
I was that child that wanted to go to the movies and walk to the pizza hut ogling the older boy I had a massive crush on but I had to get up early the next morning to practice tennis. I knew I had to make a choice and ultimately having goals and sticking to them made me a successful tennis player with more self-confidence as a person.
I do think you can be a great athlete, a successful student, and a good kid while having some fun. Really watch your child, get to know their moods, and check in with them to see if they are happy!
It is really important in life to find that inner happiness. Take a day and do something away from their sport that they pick. Take their friends to an amusement park, let them eat cotton candy and ride the rollercoaster until they puke! (I used to do that, well not the cotton candy part but I would ride the rollercoaster and upside down rides until I would throw up! Yeah, I don’t have a stop button!!!)
